For my son

well i guess i should start this off other than leaving it at my main post lol..
This is a poem i wrote to give to my son when he is older.. it took so much for me to write this but it had to be done..

The very first time I saw those two lines,
I knew I was being looked after,
my angel baby came down,
and said I told you,
you will be a mother one day,
even thou you had hard times and fighting each day,
for all the good times you have yet to come,
you will be a mother dear,
to love and protect your little one.

I couldn't believe what I saw,
so I decided to take ten more,
every single one came back as two,
I felt such love an warmth inside of me,
knowing im a mom is amazing cant you see.

The scan I had broke my heart,
there was no sign of a beating heart,
I had to wait nine horrible days,
but thanks to my angel,
I was totally amazed,
a heart was beating fast an strong,
I thank my angel for keeping him strong.

I hugged my belly and closed my eyes,
telling my son you will survive,
through the nine months,
I spotted and had pain,
omg is it happening again,
but thank you to my angel,
he hanged on with all his mite,
he wasn't giving up without a fight.

As my baby grew inside me,
my belly got bigger and I glowed outside,
every movement and every kick I felt,
I knew my baby is a fighter like me cant you tell.

No matter what happened while I carried you,
just don't you ever forget I love you,
you made my world so complete,
and not forget my angel who gave me you.

8 weeks slow labor and 82 hours full,
I didn't care what pain I had,
cause you was inside me and had to come out,
with every push and every pain,
I knew you was closer to being in my arms.

I felt your head crown,
I never gave up,
I wanted you in my arms right now,
with a deep breath in,
I pushed you out,
but there was a problem and they rushed you away,
without me being able to look at your face.

I couldn't cry,
I couldn't breath,
I just wanted you in my arms couldn't they see,
when I heard your first cry,
I knew you was alive,
thank you my angel,
you made your mommy feel alive.

When they handed me your tiny body,
I held you close to my chest and gave you a kiss,
told you I loved you and id never let you go,
cause you are my amazing little boy.

You still wasn't out of the woods that day,
you wouldn't feed and I begged you to take,
they came and checked you and then took you away,
I cried my eyes out and stayed by your side.

My angel baby came back to me,
even thou she never left your side you see,
she told that I shouldn't worry,
she gave me a glimpse of all hope and glory,

when they gave you back to me,
I held you close so tender and sweet,
I had a tear drop on my cheek,
telling you I love you and you are never leaving me.

Five days in hospital because of your father,
I hated him for all the hurt and pain,
but loved him for giving me you,
if that one night didn't happen,
you wouldn't be here right now running me crazy.

So I thank you my angel baby for every hope,
cause without you here, I would have been broke,
I will never forget you or not forget,
that my son is here with you inside him,
protecting him.

what am i doing?

ok ive just started this blogging thing and me dont have a clue what im doing!
i know have to write shit down and stuff but what if what you write gets passed about, how much will that affect your life? well that i know as ive had a lot of shit affect me in the past but well thats another story...another time i will share how ive felt, what it done to me and my son plus how my life is now.. (thats if i ever get time in doing this..